SIA's Reflective Blog

What does Slum dog Millionaire is trying to say?

2009-02-25T18:36:00.000-08:00

I'm not evaluating the movie technically, what I'm saying here is basically what I perceived (philosophically) from watching it...

The whole movie reminded me of some principles of life:

- To Keep the Faith.

- That those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.

- The result of YOU not listening to your experience is that YOU keep re-living it.

I believe you gain knowledge though observation, through experiencing directly. I believe life repeats itself - in various forms - with offering you same decisions which may look different but they are same in nature and as long as you don't make the right decision regarding that matter life repeats itself offering you that decision agian in one another form till you make the right decision – of course there’s a price to be paid which is mostly the time you lose and a bit of money. This may look off the topic but it's not, I may refer to it again!

You learn, you'll be given opportunity to prove you've learned or you can and do remember experiences of your life - It's up to you to decide to repeat that experience, you can choose to repeat the experience out of foolishness or 'cuz it's a sweet experience - not to mention that repeating an experience is learning again so even though you choose to repeat it you'll be given opportunity to prove you've done it well.

And the movie is based on same philosophy; the slumdog millionaire Jamal learned, observed, faced different things in various points of his life and when he was offered to show he can remember experiences and incidents of his life, he did. He luckily did remember various points of his life and he selected the right answer among multiple choices which made him a millionaire. He otherwise would has kept repeating same experience – not living a miserable life of a vagabond kid but his routine ordinary work in the place where he used to serve tea...

Money Is Irrelevant

2008-06-10T02:41:00.001-07:00

Talked to Dave last week, he’s off to skiing for 10 days.
One asked how much it costs.
I don’t know he said. I don’t care he added.
Not that I’m rich, but when you really feel good doing something, when you take pleasure in doing something – you have to do it as much as you can, as much as possible. Money is irrelevant…

If you don’t do something you’re good at as much as you can, you never be what you can be. There’s nothing such as I cannot; it means either you are not interested in it or you haven’t put enough effort, enough time to do it well. He continued…
I can’t remember – I don’t wanna spent more time remembering it not that I can’t

What struck me was what he said in terms of money. I already knew it, hard to apply it though. Still remember the concept, haven’t applied the theory into my life for a long time. Just tried to keep it an abstract…

Enough said.

We Learn before We Learn to Learn

2008-04-03T03:27:00.000-07:00

" Each one of us is born into a certain tradition and language, which decides what to see before we begin to look, what to say before we learn to speak, what to consider important before we start weighing things against each other, and how to conduct ourselves before we start pondering the choices. "
Bauman (1996: 25)

What Is Inherited from Yesterday

2008-04-03T03:25:00.000-07:00

Many things have changed so far,
Many things haven't though.

What Is Mood?

2008-02-25T23:54:00.000-08:00

I start Uni tomorrow...

There is a strong tendency among students to feel depressed as they get close to end of the summer or start of the new semester. This has been happening continuously for the whole duration of study & the reason of this depression has been neglected since the very first day.

It's about mood, culture & perception

Couple of days ago, a friend of mine wanted to know what really mood is...
Replied I-SiavashAlavian:
There is nothing such as mood as I observed, it’s our perception of reality…Don’t want to get into philosophy now though I believe it’s something directly related to culture & perception. If you want to be happy you are happy anyways- doesn’t matter whether it’s sunny or bloody rainy…They teach us rain means such sun means so..Sunset means this dawn means that…so we’ve got our mind preoccupied by these wrong definitions or wrong feelings based on definitions…
I’ve seen myself a very rainy day and all I was thinking about was BLISS

can't really be bothered to explain more...maybe I do someday...

enough said

Stupidest Tag Ever!

2008-02-18T14:58:00.001-08:00

My housemate found this tag on his jacket!!!
WHASH THIS WHEN DIRTY
This tag by no means is informative.
This is insulting our intelligence, it's funny though...

Thanks to Davide Marchesan

Killing People Is Wrong!

2008-02-15T03:06:00.000-08:00

People are lousy observers of their own behavior. Cory Doctorow

This If I Can Do

2008-01-31T04:33:00.001-08:00

Here we go again!
Same old story, same old shit…
Not many years ago, I surrounded myself with unnecessary things, unnecessary people, and unnecessary power

That’s usually what we do when we feel insecure; we surround ourselves by the things which are of no use.

Likewise, I did it because I felt insecure. Though I did it, I felt insecure.

I still feel insecure and have nothing to surround myself with; no power, nothing, nobody. Though I still feel insecure I'm healing every day, more hopes, more ideas, I'm more productive than before but I don't know why I can't forget you

This if I can do, I'll be king of the world but that king is now so fragile. As fragile as his hopes and dreams...

I’m continuously listening to these predictable mediocrities about you
I’m not listening, they are just repeating. Either they say it directly or they imply it in any and every possible way…

And I know it’s true, I’ve witnessed many times.
I can’t deny it, I can’t escape the reality. I try to neglect, try to overlook…
But just can’t get you out of my head.
I’ve got nothing but dreams and that’s the only thing that keeps me going

I missed my toilet note which was saying: when there is a will, there is a way
There’s always an exception. Apparently this is exception, it’s so tragic…

Truth, reality, whatsoever you want to call it, for the sake of peace, STOP IT! Lest I remember the contradiction between the very I & my very self…

I know, I’m gonna ask even if you don’t utter anything…

“People are lousy observers of their own behavior.” Corry Doctorow

Australia, You Are beautiful!

2008-01-26T14:54:00.000-08:00

I saw it out there!
ETERNITY;
That’s the sun mingling with the sea...

Thanks to Sherving for helping me to upload these photos.

These photos are copyrighted.
All rights reserved.
Using other product of mind without mentioning it, is called plagiarism and is bad.

Fakts

2008-01-08T00:54:00.000-08:00

"Now, what I want is, Facts. Teach these boys and girls nothing but Facts. Facts alone are wanted in life. Plant nothing else, and you can root out everything else. You can only form the minds of reasoning animals upon Facts: nothing else will ever be of any service to them. This is the principle on which I bring up my own children, and this is the principle on which I bring up these children. Stick to Facts, Sir!"

CHARLES DICKENS
HARD TIMES
BOOK THE FIRST. SOWING
CHAPTER I
THE ONE THING NEEDFUL

Stereotype

2008-01-06T05:12:00.001-08:00

"I saw a man in the plaza with beard, I'm 100% sure he was Iranian."

And this is from a person who didn't even know people in Iran speak a language called Persian or Farsi, not Arabic.

And this comes from a man who thought Iranians are Arab, till I enlightened him by the fact that there are four countries in the middle east which are not Arab; Iran, Turkey, Israel & sadly I forgot the forth one myself...

And this comes from a man who (I'm 100% sure – like himself) doesn't know the difference between Muslim and Arab

Not that I mind you understand....

I'm far away from having any kind of care for people's race or nationality or color or colour. I respect all people regardless of their race or whatsoever...

Generally far away from taking people seriously – and especially this kind. This was one of probably millions who...

Not that I want to change people or their behavior or the outcome, what I wrote here definitely and not probably gets lost in the hyperspace and buried down under thousands and thousands of layers of commercial ads and finally layers of indifference

What pisses me is how people allow themselves to judge others with the least contextual knowledge, with no accurate information and by their look.

What pisses me off is stereotyping

"People are lousy observers of their own behavior" Corry Doctorow

Enough said....

Sydney Opera House

2008-01-06T04:47:00.000-08:00

Sydney Opera House
Location: New South Wales - Australia
Photo by: Siavash Alavian
No Rights to this photo, you can use it....

The Godforsaken motherland

2007-12-25T15:29:00.001-08:00

Motherland!

Iran - The godforsaken country...

long before they come
long after they go

Location: East Azerbaijan - Moghan Plain
Photo by: Hamind Sedghinejad

By Dad & Mom

2007-12-25T15:27:00.000-08:00

“If there is anything that we wish to change in a child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.” Carl gustav jung, The Integration of Personality

Many thanks to my parents and particularly my great Dad who raised both of their children with two outstanding attitudes; absolutism and the desire to achieve perfectionism.

“People are lousy observers of their own behavior” Corry Doctorow

Enough said…

Beauty

2007-12-07T02:15:00.000-08:00

“For most men, woman’s body is the most beautiful thing they see in their lives.
What is the most beautiful thing women see in their lives?
Their first baby, it’s the most beautiful thing they see in their lives.”

Maurice said.

And I was listening

Summer

2007-11-21T01:31:00.000-08:00

I finally finished my exams,

I can smell the summer,

I'll have lots of good fun times ahead I didn't have a great start though, I vomited 3 times after drinking at the first night...

But now completely recovered and listening to:

"I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,

I can see all obstacles in my way

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)Sun-Shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone

All of the bad feelings have disappeared

Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin?for

It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)Sun-Shiny day.

Look all around, there’s nothin?

but blue skiesLook straight ahead, nothin?

but blue skiesI can see clearly now, the rain is gone,

I can see all obstacles in my wayGone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)Sun-Shiny day"

But still remains one problem and that's REALITY,
It's too bright to be overlooked & neglected...

Culture

2007-11-21T01:30:00.001-08:00

"...culture is the way things are
done - especially when no one is looking."
(Umiker 1999: 22)

Originally posted on: November 10, 2007

Crackdown

2007-11-21T01:25:00.001-08:00

Abraham Lincoln

Gettysburg Address

delivered 19 November 1863

Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead who struggled here have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.

Source: http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/gettysburgaddress.htm

Originally poster on: November 5, 2007

The Story of Father's Love to His Son

2007-11-21T01:19:00.000-08:00

Originally postet: October 31, 2007

Exam period...

2007-10-22T17:33:00.001-07:00

I've got exam in less than 10 days...
again exam time & lots of brilliant ideas popping up... big plans for summer...
counting down; 21 days left, 21,000 days to go...

Yesterday, I studies a bit. I was on schedule & I hope keep on going on schedule...
I watched Omid Kordestani (Google's Senior Vice President for Global Sales and Business Development) commencement address at San Jose State University on YouTube. Probably it wasn't right time to do so, I should have prepared myself for exams instead...

I became more determined & motivated to follow my dreams...

unfortunately you can't watch it if you have low-speed Internet access (it's 19 min) but you can view the complete transcript.

I strongly recommend you to read it. It's a bit long but it definitely worth it. Unfortunately as he said, no one's gonna remember anything...

Originally posted on: October 23, 2007

2007-10-20T05:41:00.000-07:00

Siavash Alavian is apparently gay, APPARENTLY…
He’s not! He’s just missed his friend, that’s all…

Missed all the I
Missed all the You
Missed all the time we laughed
Missed all the time we fought
Missed all the plan we had for orgy sex which never came true & we ended up with compulsive masturbation session…
And those girls, they just…
************* CENSORED *******************
Missed all those Crunchy we had...
Missed all the times we used to gather & play PC games or Play Station till morning...
Missed all the time we didn't have money to buy ourselves food & we had to made & we always sucked
Missed all the meetings we had at 00:00 for the last cigarette of the day
Missed when I smoked in the parking at 02:00 in the morning & my father was smoking that time in the kitchen & you were smoking in the balcony
That was sweet; a son who smokes in ground level & a father accompanying him in the kitchen
Missed all the time you were late & I was so irritated
Never happened for us to be on-time, either you or I was always late...
Missed all the weird things
Missed all the lies we told each other- and we both knew we were lying
Missed all the truth we never told
Missed all truth we told...
Missed Roxana, remember the beat!!?
Missed our own brown world which was brighter than anything
Missed all the talk we had
Missed all the time we used to study & I was always asleep in Sadegh Hedayat's bed
Missed your nose & my belli

Then we became Fasilmo
I was Fasilmo, you were Fasilmo, and she was the master of Fasilmos…
She was the first Fasilmo indeed
Missed all the Tuesdays' morning when we three Fasilmos had our special food which was always made by you & for some reason I don't know what I just showed up on the meal time- and that was the only time I always was on time, and after that the cigarettes we three had and then down time...

Even missed the time I was rejected which changed the path of my life...
Missed all the Yashas we had...
Girls were not supposed to have Yasha but she ate without uttering anything...
By the way what's new on Spice Platinum? Do we still receive distortion on XXL?
Remember Alfred? Did you guys finally managed to rape him or not (Alfred is a duck living in north of Iran, the place we used to go for holiday…)
...
...
...
.

Jean Valjean

2007-10-08T03:21:00.000-07:00

Les Miserables - Victor Hugo - Jean Valjean

`Stop, hey! help! someday call the police! let go thief

JVJ: Give it to me!

`Police! help!

Police: what's going on?

`He is a thief, he stole this bread

On a cold winter day in 1795, Jean Valjean, an unemployed wood cutter is arrested for stealing bread to feed his sister and her starving children. They are his only family & he is never to see them again...

He attempts many escapes but he is recaptured each time and each time more years are added to his sentence.

After 19 long dark years, he is released...
A lifetime of cruel suffering has made him desperate and dangerous.Jean Valjean's soul has grown black with hate

\\\

Love this story; the story of man & poverty...

=

2007-10-05T05:43:00.001-07:00

The Bloody Keyboard

2007-09-30T18:51:00.001-07:00

Recently I've had tough times...
too much of it...

still not as tough as the first semester I started the Uni, that was really hard and when I look back it somehow looks unbearable. I wonder how I went through that successfully...

I failed one of my group assignment though the class test was good...
I lost control since then & it's hard to pull myself together, harder that I imagined...

dreams are fragile...

I gotta submit another assignment this Friday, I went through my previous assignment to check for consistency & I found:

"Based on total budget of $200,000, e-procurement as new supply chain management system will be implemented within 9 months with the following objectives:"

where the bloody 9 supposed to be 6!!!

It's so sad that I know I'm gonna lose mark for that, but that is not my problem that keyboards are designed in such a bad bad way...

6 is under 9, likewise; $200,000 could be easily typed as 500,000. These bloody keyboards...

DREAMS ARE FRAGILE...

"People are lousy observers of thier own behavior" Cory Doctorow

In the Toilet 01

2007-09-22T17:51:00.000-07:00

"DEAR MR/MRS/MS CLEANER
DONT ALLOW THE CAPITALIST PIGS TO STIFLE ONE OF THE FEW PUBLIC SPACES FOR TRUE FREEDOM OF XPRESSION!!"

"WAKE UP IDIOT!"

Indeed toilet is one of the few public spaces where there exist true freedom of expression...
The point is either you talk with your mouth or you talk with your ass, no one's gonna listen.
This is not freedom then !!!

Amassing Ideas Spontaneously...

2007-09-16T04:22:00.000-07:00

- This work you're doing…, is it a kind of work that lead to anything?

+ I don't know, I don't even know whether it's kinna work that lead to something or not! Something good or bad, better or worse…Nevertheless, it's a kinna work to be done & I’m doing it

- And why exactly?!? Tell me why amassing ideas spontaneously and without judgment is something to be done and what invoked this crazy sense of duty in you that you find yourself responsible to do this arduous task...!?

+ Rejoice! I rejoice in doing this & it keeps me going. It's the new way to quench desire! It’s expensive but no one can ruin it, no one can touch it and I don't have to share it. it's all mine...

Can you confront?

Do you know any better way to satisfy me? Except offering what everybody can offer...

* Many thank to Nasim Gholinejad for Photo

Track 07 - ILMC

2007-09-11T01:58:00.000-07:00

See the difference!

Whenever I use others' words I cite it. I don't use others products of mind and call it mine.. This is plagiarism & it's BAD

As a rule you don't accept those you don't like- 'cuz you just don't like their face or their name is too long...

There are people in my friend list & I even haven’t seen them but I accepted their invitation when they introduce themselves & they leave message when they want without being afraid of their message or comments being deleted.

This is called democracy & you know nothing about it

There is something called hypocrisy & I know nothing about that and that's why I have to be here in this corner of the world though I love my country more than you!

I admit sometimes democracy sucks & I should decide…we’ll get to that later

I hate to apologise people but I do when I have to- And I do it more than you
but I don't kiss people's ass to get me where I want that's why I have to be here in this corner of the world though I love my country more than you!

* this you is a real character

Persia no longer exists

2007-08-16T00:20:00.001-07:00

This is really funn:

It’s really funny how we-the Iranian try to hide our fucked-up nationality by calling ourselves Persians...

I was member of Monash European Club (MEC)- many thank to Els De Mets who added me to list for free which I understood later & didn't pay a cent ;) - I was called to renew & verify my membership; there were many county in the list but mine. I went through the list item by item; Iceland, India, ?!!?

Scrolled a bit further, I found a new country: PERSIA

What the fuck is that?!? That county no longer exist. There were two names under that but not mine, thanks god...

Some might say the language is Persian, but technically speaking; the land is Iran so people are Iranian, and the language is Farsi, nothing to do with Persia & Persians mate, open your eyes!!!

They became extinct

Keep your eyes open! Persians no longer exist, the land truly belonged to them long long time ago, those people there -including me- are not Persian but Arab or Turkish mixed with Persians
The Persian land is diminished to Iran and the breed is vanished...

This breed is rare & weird

Conclusion: if you are from a fucked-up country, which its president is an idiot, and their political face is lost and there hasn't been any wise person for many years to be pointed out as representative of that country, and all the shit that is on the news...

That’s not your problem, that's not your problem at all

You can't cut your rotten roots by mistyping name of your country, that's just the way it is and you have no responsibility or power over it

You are responsible for what you are doing...

Don’t worry mate, you don't represent the government but you DO represent people of your country, so take responsibility for what you are doing. I personally have no care whether you are an idiot or a gentleman but I don't wanna pay for the image you leave behind as you don't wanna pay for the image your government left.

Human Nature

2007-08-07T06:55:00.001-07:00

" There are two kind of people, those who take & those who give

Two types: scorpions, frogs

Scorpion wants to cross the river but he can't swim. So he goes to frog who can and ask for a ride...

Frog says: I'll give you a ride on my back, you're gonna sting me...

Scorpion replies: that would not be my interesting thing as I'll be on your back with perfect ride

Frog thinks about it for a while and accepts the deal, takes the scorpion on his back...

Half way over he feels a burning spear on his side and realizes the scorpion has stung after alland as they both sink beneath the waves the frog cries out: why you just sting me Mr. scorpion for now we both will drown!?!

Scorpion replies: I can't help it, it's in my nature!

Means what it says...Word for word, scorpion does what is in its nature."*

LET MOTHER FUCKERS BURN

* The Crying Game(1992)- Director: Neil Jordan

A Thing That Works Against Me

2007-07-27T06:04:00.001-07:00

One thing works against me is how my brain works..
whenever I tried to make one right smart choice, I simply sucked, I fucked something up if not everything...
I tried to do it in the best way by using my brain, I tried to be smart using shortcuts
but...
I don't know why I sometimes try to be innovativeI might be better off to leave it to others & I just watch them or just do it as others do

Mistake

2007-07-12T00:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we need to make mistake or do something in our own way which might be completely O.K. but other may call it mistake...
America was discovered by MISTAKE & no one ever blamed Christopher Columbus for making such a great mistake!!! who are you to criticize me for any kinna mistake which is not obviously greater that discovering America?
Columbus DID MAKE MISTAKE, and mistake is mistake after all but he's not yet being blamed what I do might only be wrong in your opinion & I'm being blamed...
what I'm saying is not that we have to forgive someone who makes mistake, I strongly believe when someone makes mistake he/she should pay for it. What I'm saying is what is the authority - not even who is authorized - to perceive something as right or wrong. Well, as long as perception is involved there is no absolute right or wrong. The bad point is there is no right or wrong at all. It's all what you perceive based on your knowledge, experience, belief, background & personality...
This is Siavash Alavian thinking, so you can enjoy

In the praise of Q & Z & X

2007-07-09T06:46:00.000-07:00

Among the English letters, letters Q, Z, X are being used less than the other letters.

This is not because of the nature of these three lovely letters rather because of the way words are created, in the other words the nature of human caused this disharmony. That doesn't mean these letters are useless because we don't use them. Neither it means they have less absolute value than the letter E which is used the most in English.

Well, X is being used in the word sex and X itself is symbol of sex and widely being used in sensual context which adds lots of credibility to X...

Sometimes I really feel sorry for Q and Z;
Z is demoted in British English since they use S instead in many cases such as: recognise, antagonise, organisation... but at least it's been promoted in Americanized English and being used more than British equivalent of the words.

But Q; I can't think of any reason to add credibility to Q, neither i can find a reason to justify why Q is being neglected.
I don't understand why it's being created, if you create it you have to look after it, but Q is left like a abandon dog since there are other letters which has similar sound & is being used instead of Q or there are some words like queer which is not being used enough to emphasize (cherishing Z- not emphasise) the value of Q.

They shouldn't create Q and use other words with similar sound instead of poor Q from the first day, then we wouldn't feel sorry for Q now...

This is Siavash Alavian thinking, so you can enjoy
Siavash Alavian is also a Q-Lover

The Ordinary

2007-07-06T04:41:00.000-07:00

ordinary is never boring... it's just what you think... me father have boned me mother more that 20 years, this I think is true for your parents as well. apparently no one ever complained about having sex, it's the lack of having sex which most of the people complain about. people have sex some for a long time like me parents and I haven't heard anything about how boring & ordinary it is, no matter how often they do it
if it's ordinary then why there is no objection about how boring it is? you clearly know what you are exactly going to do in every single moment and satisfaction heralds repetition which certainly exist and repetition heralds satisfaction which is not guaranteed...
then why repetition & ordinary causes dissatisfaction... then why you escape from anything which causes fatigue but sex why the ordinary is not ordinary & boring

Planning

2007-07-04T22:37:00.001-07:00

I've always heard planning is the first important step in any movement.

" Every moment you spend planning, saves three or four in execution."
Crawford Greenwalt
President DuPont

Here it is, my plan for exams...
I'm always great at planning, but I always suck at execution...
There should be a plan to execute the plan, defenitaley realistic approach
This is Siavash Alavian thinking, so you can enjoy!

I'm gonna break it! as I promised, as I did once

2007-07-02T07:46:00.000-07:00

"The bird rights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world. The bird flies to God. That God's name is Abraxas."*
One day soon, I'm gonna forget you & You & YOU... I'm gonna break the egg, I'm gonna be born once again. I know I can't break it now, I'm stuck. That egg is the "past" & I'm stuck in it
That past is so sweet & I can't break that egg... But it will happen some day...I'm doing my best to break it, to forget it -as I promised... I'm far away from home- 11,783.82 Kilometers precisely- but I'm still in the egg. Didn't know that egg is this BIG! but I'm gonna break it even if it costs me leaving the biggest egg... I'm ready to pay the price Not that I'm complaining about what I have or what I'm doing now but I want more, MORE. You understand I WANT MORE

*Demian, Hermann Hesse

Nothing Works!

2007-06-30T05:05:00.001-07:00

Communism is shit!
Capitalism is getting fucked up!
So what!?
what are other choices?
What can satisfy?
What can quench the desire?
Nothing works

One of the things pisses me off…

2007-06-27T01:13:00.000-07:00

Celebrities!
Bunch of cunts & sluts!
I have no idea about it & that isn’t really the matter… people are free to do whatever they like, wear whatever and behave how they think is appropriate & I’m nobody to judge…
I’m not as handsome as Justin Timberlake & I’m really with happy that and that doesn’t piss me off at all. I’m not jealous and I don’t really need many chicks around me

What really pisses me off is how people are blindly following them or responding to what they do. They are just human being just like us…
Seems there are always wrong people to be followed by people; prophets in the past and celebrities in the modern age.
I feel sorry for those who follow prophet since prophets don’t have cute ass like celebrities…
Oh my God Paris just released, Britney cut her hair…
Posh did that so let’s do it…
So what!

Not that I'm saying they're not good people, many of them worked hard to achieve what they want...to become who they are now & this needs recognition & appreciation but other people are so...

They don’t care about us? Why should we?
They are living their lives so should we.

This is Siavash Alavian thinking so you can enjoy

I'm doing for myself...

2007-06-23T07:55:00.000-07:00

This is Siavash Alavian thinking so you can enjoy ©

I don't care if anybody reads or sees or cares or leaves, you can simply ignore it 'cus it's boring for you or not a topic of your interest...
You are more than welcome to comment on anything goes around here or anything you may capture in the world as a blog to to post or you can simply do a great job of observation & don't fucken' move your fat lazy ass & still no one cares n' no one blames you...

Nevertheless it's a thing should be written, it's a lesson should be learned and I'm writing but i don't teach you 'cuz it's a lesson for me & if i decided to share with you it's my generosity. Many of us pay heavy price for some lessons & share it...

It's sometimes stupidity rather than generosity I believe, but the point is not all of us are able to get the embedded message and not all of all perceive what we have to perceive, we just read but don't understand, we listen but we don't hear....we see something, perceive something & call it reality.

Unfortunately after all the post i posted about Reality & Truth i understood :
the reality is out perception...

We are lousy observers of the Reality

This is Siavash Alavian thinking so you can enjoy ©

Taken from This is Ze Frank thinking so you don't have to

2007-06-23T07:34:00.001-07:00

Same bullshit, just continues... finally I increased my mark by 9 which is unlikely to happen, but that's not still what I DESERVE...
I'm too tired to fight for what I believe in, to get what I deserve...
This University should really reconsider when it chimes its reputation for being 38th in the world! what the fuck!!!

Date: 12 June 2007 21:21
Subject: Re:feedback on assigment 2
Author: Hemingway, Joseph
I'm confused by the feedback that I have received. It is just a checklist of tasks, most of which I completed and some that I didn't.Doesn't seem to me to be feedback more just a generic criteria list which I must say was not helpful at all.
Topic: General Discussion
Date: 13 June 2007 10:17
Subject: Re:feedback on assigment 2
Author: Tan, Jefferson
I'll look into this, Joseph.
Topic: General Discussion
Date: 13 June 2007 12:14
Subject: Re:feedback on assigment 2
Author: Alavian, Siavash
I haven't recieved anything yet...it's testing out paitience yea!?by the way Jeff, you are right it's life & that's the way it goes sometimes yeah yeah, sometimes no noi'm not shrinking my responsibility, i blame myself since i haven't leant well & a bit impatience for not recieving any feedback...you may blame me for not learning well & your tutor as well since they aren't on time or they don't provide enough feedback as Joseph mentioned but only blaming doesn't work, we have to DO somethingmy apologies for being impaitience when i tried hard & recieved something i didn't expect which i think is not fair as you said it's life & i'm 100% sure this will happen in the future to anybody & u have to learn
Topic: General Discussion
Date: 13 June 2007 12:16
Subject: Re:feedback on assigment 2
Author: Alavian, Siavash
sorry i mistyped u have to learn, i meant I HAVE TO LEARN
Topic: General Discussion
Date: 13 June 2007 17:00
Subject: Re:feedback on assigment 2
Author: Tan, Jefferson
Relax, Siavash. I was only making a point on principle. Neither do I advocate shirking my responsibility as lecturer (nor my tutors their responsibilities).Your feedback should have reached you when your marks were uploaded. I apologize for this and will get you your feedback immediately.

Part 2; It's not Always the Case That You Get What You Deserve!

2007-06-23T07:33:00.001-07:00

the rest of the discussion & hopefully some sort of achievemnt... at least I tried my best in any possible way to get what I DESERVE...
Topic : General Discussion Date : Sat Jun 09 01:20:25 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Chui, Mabel
Yes I also remember Jeff said: “... Expenses after setting up is not part of the costs you are budgetting for.” That's why I did not include the maintenance cost but yet the feedback I've got from the tutor for assignment 2 is like:
Part A
Question 1:
- need to assume LAN load ( current, future) <--I did
- need to assume current software configuration <--I also did
- description of other topologies <-- Wasn't comparing them enough?
- need to evaluate at least 2 alternatives in the selection of
switches <-- Huh? Wasn't said in the assignment sheet!
- network application software <-- Isn't Network OS enough?!?
Question 2:
- physical netword design is also needed to estimate the cost (e.g. cable length) <-- I DID
Question 3:
- cost estimate of at least 2 LAN solutions are needed for the decision making process<--- What the?!?
- installation, test and maintenance cost could be included<-huh?
Part B
- evaluation of alternatives <-- I did
- database server
Makes me wonder the marker didn't even read my assignment thoroughly, can't really blame him coz it was around 6000 words :P
Topic : General Discussion Date : Sat Jun 09 03:38:34 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Chuah, Eng
i got almost the same feedback as u. lol
Topic : General Discussion Date : Sat Jun 09 10:05:14 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Alavian, Siavash
i haven't recieved the feedback so i can't judge now...
but what you say means we have to read the questions & answer something other than the questions or we have to answer something we aren't asked...
hope this won't be happening in the final exam...
i'm still waiting for feedback
Topic : General Discussion Date : Sat Jun 09 12:00:46 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Lewis, Keith
I haven't received any feedback apart from the mark yet. The assignment 2 instruction sheet said: "Estimate the cost of implementing the network, with a breakdown of cost by component. " Where in that statement, or anywhere else in the assignment 2 instructions that are on MUSO (please quote it here) does it say that 2 separate solutions should be included?
Topic : General Discussion Date : Sat Jun 09 14:47:17 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Chui, Mabel
I reckon the feedback you're getting would be pretty much the same as mine (like everyone's).
This is what my lil rant is about, where o where on earth did it say something like estimation of 2 separate solutions should be included etc????? In the assignment sheet? On MUSO?? Verbally by the lecturer or the tutor??? NO~~, I don't think so!!! Like you guys, I've followed the assignment's instruction 100%, but yet they throw this at us to chop our marks.
Actually I've got quite a good mark for this assignment but if this is the main reason why I didn't get a higher mark because I didn't include the parts that is discussed in the feedback then I'm not happy. To me this is not a case of strict marking, this is hypocritical.
Topic : General Discussion Date : Mon Jun 11 12:35:03 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Tan, Jefferson
A comparison between alternatives is logical when justifying costs, e.g., this is more expensive (than the other) but is justified for the following reasons (then you proceed to give the reasons).
But as I wrote in the home page, I will be reviewing everyone's results, the assignment specs, as well as the marking guide.
Topic : General Discussion Date : Fri Jun 08 19:46:47 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Kung, Yue
uptill now..i did not receive the feedback yet..
so can't say anything..
Topic : General Discussion Date : Mon Jun 11 11:16:42 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Kung, Yue
I did not receive the feedback from my assignment 2 yet....
Is the mail lost?
if so, can that be resent again?
Thanks!:)
Topic : General Discussion Date : Mon Jun 11 11:48:01 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Alavian, Siavash
i haven't recieved feedback yet either...
i don't think chasing the process of assignment evaluation is my responsibility...
my responsibility is my learning - assignments are a great way of learning, but that learning isn't complete unless we get high quality feedback & this last part is not our responsibility
Topic : General Discussion Date : Mon Jun 11 12:37:43 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Tan, Jefferson
"i don't think chasing the process of assignment evaluation is my responsibility..."
Actually this responsibility is both yours and ours. You must not shirk this responsibility because you risk being cheated of what you deserve, just as we cannot shirk this responsibility because we risk failing in our duties in educating you. This is university, and this is life. What is yours can never be completely foisted onto another.
Rest assured that I am not happy with the delay in feedback as well.
RESULT: "Dear students: I have read through the anguished discussions concerning assignment 2 results. I will review this matter completely and make a final judgment by Wednesday the 13th." Jefferson Tan, The Lecturer

It's not Always the Case that You Get What You Deserve, Part1

2007-06-23T07:32:00.000-07:00

I received my mark for second assignment for the subject Data & Network Communication, I was shocked by the mark. I expected something like HD which is equivalent to A or the first grade of mark but i simply failed...
I really don't know why 'cus I haven't received feedback on it. But after getting the mark I started a discussion on MUSO (Monash University Study Online) here is the discussion, I will post rest of conversation as I receive....
Compiled Messages
Topic : General Discussion Date : Thu Jun 07 09:15:37 EST 2007
Subject : feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Alavian, Siavash
i recieved only my mark on assignment 2 which is really BAD...
but i haven't recieved any feedback or email via muso.
my mark was a real shock, just wondering if the overperformance is the same as me ...
anybody recieved feedback or email via muso?!?
Topic : General Discussion Date : Thu Jun 07 12:33:24 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Kung, Yue
i have received my result too
its ok for me..not too bad.
but I haven't get any feedback via muso or email too
Topic : General Discussion Date : Thu Jun 07 14:05:53 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Prabasi, Samir
I received shockingly bad marks for Assignment 2, and I have not received any feedback or emails regarding it either.
Topic : General Discussion Date : Thu Jun 07 15:03:23 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Lewis, Keith
what was the average makr for assignment 2?
Topic : General Discussion Date : Thu Jun 07 15:07:12 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Kung, Yue
Is it that many of the students get a BAD score or even a fail on it?
Topic : General Discussion Date : Fri Jun 08 09:27:32 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Alavian, Siavash
I got very bad mark & failed...that's why i posted this on muso to see how others went but seems no one likes to talk about his/her mark...
i got HD on previous assignment but i failed this one... either of the mark should be revised again other wise this is gonna be a lovely joke!!!
Topic : General Discussion Date : Fri Jun 08 11:32:33 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Li, Vincent
im in a similar situation, did well in ass1, didnt fail this but did horrible none the less. I wasnt expecting a high mark, but what I got was still worse than expected
the assignment questions were too vague...
Topic : General Discussion Date : Fri Jun 08 12:59:55 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Alavian, Siavash
If low marks are because of ambiguity, they should have provided assessment criteria sheet which they didn’t…
Or maybe we answered wrong…
i remember one of the posts here somebody said the assignment was designed in this way so the tutors mark them ....on that time i didn't understand in the end we- the student will pay the price of this ambiguity...
the best thing is to wait to get feedback which Jeff said will be sent via MUSO …I’m wondering why they didn’t release it simultaneously…
Topic : General Discussion Date : Fri Jun 08 16:00:22 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Chui, Mabel
I've got my feedback yesterday already (was sent to me at around 16:40, haven't you got yours yet?
Yes I totally agree that the specification of the assignment is too ambiguous which leads us to have our marks unnecessarily deducted. What irritates me is that I know I got my marks deducted due to several parts that I have failed to include in the assignment such as, evaluation of at least 2 alternatives in the selection of switches, test and maintenance cost, cost estimate of at least 2 LAN solutions etc, I was like hello?! those were never stated necessary in the assignment sheet! If a criteria sheet was provided then possibly every student would have easily got a HD for this assignment but sadly not many tutors do that. Personally I think this is too harsh for a first-year subject (for first-year Comp Sci students) but if it was specifically for 3rd-year students (CSE3318,BUS3150 etc) then it's a different story.
Topic : General Discussion Date : Fri Jun 08 17:04:36 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Lewis, Keith
even third year soft eng students sadly don't get much experience in developing detailed costings as part of their uni degrees. That said, feedback would be appreciated.
Thankfully I passed, so I will not be contesting the marks, but I was expecting a higher mark.
Topic : General Discussion Date : Fri Jun 08 17:12:13 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Alavian, Siavash
my care is not passing or failing really
i wanna get what I DESERVE... & i know this is less than what i deserve...

Topic : General Discussion Date : Fri Jun 08 17:09:25 EST 2007
Subject : Re:feedback on assigment 2 Auther : Alavian, Siavash
are you serious!!!?
what are you talking about, how are we supposed to know about these criteria when we were left blind with a chaotically organised assignment…
I do remember Jeff said we don’t have to include ongoing cost in the assignment but now you are saying maintenance cost…
This is what Jeff said: “... Expenses after setting up is not part of the costs you are budgetting for.”
Subject: Re:Assignment 2 - $30,000
Date: 13 May 2007 22:38

Personal

2007-06-23T07:29:00.001-07:00

Go Alborz go...
Go and get what you deserve...
Go and get what's waiting for you...
What is best, that best I wish you in thee...

God, Why Did You Do That?

2007-06-23T07:23:00.000-07:00

God made one big, unforgivable, unforgettable mistake
And that was creating liars...
And we- the people are paying for his mistake
We have been paying for thousands of years & we will be paying...
And we are thankful to him 'cus he gave us lots of things in many different ways to make it up for us…
But he made mistake & mistake is mistake after all.

In The Name of Peace, We Are Gonna Attack Iraq!

2007-06-23T07:21:00.001-07:00

These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed
The weapons you are looking for are currently unavailable. The country might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your weapons inspectors mandate.
Please try the following:
Click the Regime change button, or try again later.
If you are George Bush and typed the country's name in the address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly. (IRAQ).
To check your weapons inspector settings, click the UN menu, and then click Weapons Inspector Options. On the Security Council tab, click Consensus. The settings should match those provided by your government or NATO.
If the Security Council has enabled it, The United States of America can examine your country and automatically discover Weapons of Mass Destruction. If you would like to use the CIA to try and discover them, click Detect weapons
Some countries require 128 thousand troops to liberate them. Click the Panic menu and then click About US foreign policy to determine what regime they will install.
If you are an Old European Country trying to protect your interests, make sure your options are left wide open as long as possible. Click the Tools menu, and then click on League of Nations. On the Advanced tab, scroll to the Head in the Sand section and check settings for your exports to Iraq.
Click the Bomb button if you are Donald Rumsfeld.
Cannot find weapons or CIA Error Iraqi Explorer
Bush went to Iraq to look for Weapons of Mass Destruction and all he found was this lousy T-shirt.
This page supports The Euston Manifesto.
\\ Original Link:
http://www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/

It's Not Destiny, Is It?

2007-06-23T07:18:00.000-07:00

"Life commands opposite rules upon two individuals who are sharing the same path."*
It's so complicated, it doesn't mean you have no control over your life! It means two different individuals who are asserting same effort on the same thing will get different outputs.
It's so complicated, why they don't get same output when everything is the same?
It's so complicated, it's not destiny
Different output will lead you to different places & positions. It's not destiny though! Is it?
*Ehsan Hedayat

A Malicious Expression of Hysteria

2007-06-23T07:17:00.001-07:00

Recall:
You are silent because you can.
I’m shouting because I can.
I’m shouting because I cannot conceal when it is real
You are silent because there is nothing you can say.
I’m shouting because I can’t be silent
I’m shouting because I cannot conceal when it is real
Because it’s tearing me apart, it’s breaking my heart, when I see just too cruelness when there must be any minuscule possibility for a moment of friendship
Why don’t you say anything? You were always good at words
You are here without uttering a word!
Excuse me ‘cuz I’m really sick of you
‘cuz I thought you are somebody, somebody more like me
You wanna antagonize me?
Antagonize me mother fucker!
Get in the ring mother fucker!
I’m ready to kick your ass
We were strong enough to build our own world without giving a damn to what was happening out there, what happened to that?
The boys are grown, the dream is gone!
But why?
Why would I wanna destroy something I have built?
Didn’t I say: “even though you’re gone we are still a team”?
Why don’t I say it again?
Didn’t I say when you have a friend, you don’t have choice whether to help or not, it’s your responsibility. I take it back, first this is too good to be true in this world, and second you are not a friend.
We just use and sometimes abuse each other. This is called business, not friendship.
I hope this is malicious enough to hurt
‘cuz you ruined everything, you destroyed everything we built together
See you in hell bro

Who Is Doing Fucking Great?!? Cont. on: A Suggestion to God

2007-06-22T19:00:00.000-07:00

I wrote the post “Who is doing fucking great?!?” for one of my friend. He didn’t even bother…
He didn’t dare to...
So I decided to invoke him, but I told some of my friends about this post so I have to post this first & I’ll post the invoking post for my friend later
A Suggestion to God…
“Our destiny is only defined by how we deal with the chance elements in life.” (Tom Hanks)
How many times I experienced that. If I’m here now it’s because what I did led me to be here. I could have been somewhere else if I’d responded to my chances in the past in another way. There is nothing such as predefined destiny that we all have to follow that’s all as Tom said. If something happens that we have to take instead of choosing that’s just consequences of what we chose before.
I took some of the chances in my life,
Some I grasped,
Some I lost easily and never understood I did and may never understand…
Some I lost and I regret
I lost many chances since I came here, though I don’t regret but I do when I realize that there is no more chance left to take…
Chances are given by god but how we are gonna deal with it, will make our destiny.
I don’t wanna miss out another golden opportunity.
Sound stupid but I suggest god instead of giving me chances and the opportunity to ruin them one after another which I’ve got a lot of good skills, save my chances for the future and give it when I can use it. Otherwise I have to take it as others do instead of choosing.

Who Is Doing Fucking Great?!?

2007-06-22T18:58:00.001-07:00

Who is doing fucking great?!?
You are there because you have to be, you have no other place to go, and you have no place to stay.
I am here because I chose to be, I may not have many invitations to go, though I could have stayed.
You are strong because you have to be, you need to be, you can’t stay alive if you become weak
I am strong because I chose to be. I could have stayed in HOME. I knew that home doesn’t belong to me in the first place. I belong to that home though.
You are having hard times because you cannot have fun, you have no alternative.
I am having hard times because I chose to have, I could have hidden myself in my daddy’s big pocket as many others do.
You are working because you have to.
I am working because I chose to, I want to (thanks to daddy’s big pocket and god)
You are spending your time alone there, because you have to.
I’m spending my time alone here because I chose to, I can go out with anybody I want
You are silent because you can.
I’m shouting because I can.
I’m shouting because I cannot conceal when it is real
Who is doing fucking great?!?

Those Who Forget the Past Are Doomed to Repeat It

2007-06-22T18:54:00.000-07:00

Forget the TRUTH*,
Stick to REALITY**
That’s the only way to survive
Believe me; that’s not the last way to survive, that’s the only way
I haven’t forgotten the past
Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it!
I haven’t forgotten the past
I’m not gonna repeat it again, I have played this foolish game once before, I know all the rules, all the tricks. I’m done with this bloody game
I want to play a newer game, a game with different rules.
I don’t wanna be a hero; I wanna play the easier game, even the easiest game
I’m not a hero; I am not your hero. I am my hero
* & ** Please refer to the post "The Illusion of Truth VS the Reality of Reality".

When Did God Promise That?

2007-05-07T06:41:00.000-07:00

“God hath not promised skies always blue
God hath not promised sun without rain
Joy without sorrow
But
God hath promised light for the way
Help from above
Undying wrong"
I found this old note, I can't recall the date
By the way, when did God promise light for the way?
When did she mention she can be any of help (my God is a girl)
And undying love is totally out of question...
Optimistically our love dies when we die
Pessimistically our love dies when we live
Don't tell me some guys called prophets have promised on behalf of God
She's got the power, She is Almighty... she could promise-she can promise if she wants
Maybe God hasn't promised anything
Maybe we are wrong
We are wrong & it's true
We are wrong 'cuz we want her to keep her promise (let the God be a girl - don't trust prophets
If they told you she is HE, touch her by yourself & you'll see)
But she hasn't promised any help and we shouldn't rely on it, but we do & we think she did promise
Some help, any help. So we want her to do something for us, anything for us, everything for us
She did not promise anything we have to do it by ourselves....
She is not there to promise...she is not there to do
She is there to create...she is there to watch
I really don't know what she is going to do in the future and I prefer not to guess
I also prefer not to trust those who promised on behalf of God

No War No Hero, Fight When You Feel

2007-05-07T06:37:00.001-07:00

Most of the times, we think fighting is the best way to make ourselves a hero…it is indeed. But can we have hero when there is no war? There is a war when both parties know what they are fighting for… when both parties know the value of war! The costs of it don’t matter. There is a war when both parts know one of them will prize something out of war, there is war when no one knows who’s gonna win…
Some people choose to be fighter not because they want to be a hero…sometimes it’s easier to fight with principles than to live up to them…

One part of life is to fight with principles to correct them…

But the greater part of life is learning how to tolerate foolish principles…

Luck for Rest of My Life

2007-05-07T06:32:00.000-07:00

“The man who said "I'd rather be lucky than good" saw deeply into life. People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It’s scary to think so much is out of one's control. There is moment in a match when the ball hits the top of the net, and for a split second it can either go forward or fall back. With a little luck it goes forward and you win. Or maybe it doesn't and you lose.”*

* Match Point (2005) Written & Directed by Woody Allen

The Illusion of Truth Vs The Reality of Reality

2007-05-07T06:31:00.000-07:00

The main reason why sometimes we get hurt by the rules that we ourselves defined is we want something in our own way…

Unfortunately many of us still are under illusion of truth, there is not such thing as TRUTH, there is only one thing that is REALITY. We are always seeking the truth, which is the way things should be, but we always face reality, which is the way things are. And we rarely accept reality and always want to accept the truth which is of no use. It seems the truth is like a dream that never happens in this world…

We perceive what we see in the way we want to see, because we don’t want to accept reality… Reality does not bite, rather our perception of reality bites or even more Reality bites really hard, but our perception of reality bites harder

Human & Nature (II)

2007-05-07T06:25:00.000-07:00

Humankind is a part of this beautiful nature. I’m not a member of FoE, we destroy the nature, build the environment in our own way with factories…& these factories pollutes the environment but they comfort our life in many ways in return, so we should be happy since we get comfort by destroying the nature which includes many animals and plants threatened with extinction. But what I’m not happy with is that human kind is the only species who can and proudly do kill its own species…even the most savage animals don’t kill its own species, they kill other animals
It seems the difference between man and animals is that we don’t use our tongue to clean our genitals, in addition we butcher our own species…

Nature & Human (I)

2007-04-22T17:36:00.000-07:00

"The scientist does not study the nature because it is useful to do so. He studies it because he takes pleasure in it & he takes pleasure in it because it is beautiful. If nature were not beautiful it would be not worth knowing, and life would not be worth living". Henry Poincare
But I've got something to say, what I'm going to say is not apart from nature but it's totaly different...
It's about natue but it's not beautiful...

Father Said… (II)

2007-04-22T17:34:00.000-07:00

The wall is to protect Siavash, it’s too high as you can’t see. No one can enter –well done! – but – I can’t get out myself, I can’t see outside, I’m stuck, I’m in my own hand-made prison…there is no way out…

I also made a Siavash, no one can touch him, no one can destroy him, neither can I. Have I done it in the wrong way boss? (I used to call my father Boss).

Forgive me father, for I have sinned…

Father Said… (I)

2007-04-22T17:32:00.000-07:00

I’ve remember my father always said it seems quite dull and stupid for life to go on in a common way, son! neither make something that you think you’re gonna destroy it in the future nor make something so strong that you CANNOT destroy, still strong enough that no one can destroy but you…
Forgive me Father, cuz I did it in the wrong way; I made two things that I can’t destroy but it seems I have to in some way…, it’s even hard to change…
I made a wall & I made a Siavash that even I myself can’t destroy…

Dreams fade away...

2007-04-05T05:58:00.000-07:00

When I was a child, I had many dreams, many wishes…. I wanted to make the world mine; I wanted to conquer every part of world. I wanted to travel to moon. I wanted to be strong; strong enough to stay, strong enough to escape…

But as I grew up, my dreams become smaller, the most important and biggest dreams faded away first… .Mother told the brightest flame burns quickest, what I heart was true. I lost my first dream and understood that is not achievable that’s just a dream…. The more I grew up everyday the more I lost dreams and face reality instead…I felt like I become someone new with new born dreams, I didn't even remember my old dreams... but I’ve always asked myself is that me killing that little son’s dreams or I’m not doing this, reality does?

Originally posted on Tuesday November 14, 2006

First Entry

2007-04-05T05:53:00.000-07:00

Not surprisingly, always exam period is when the most exciting and interesting ideas start popping up in your head. Making a web log was one of many ideas in my mind. I decided to write about myself, what I am facing and what I am doing & what is happening to me...
Changing where I live made a big change in me as well, a very drastic change that now, I can hardly believe who I am...but I remember who I was...
I decided to write not only in my own notebook but here, maybe if I forget one day at least there is someone who can remind me (hopefully). I decided to write not just to say something but also to say I see- feel- think- and reflect…

Originally posted on Sunday November 12, 2006